im going to Assfuck, Ohio for a two day college visit please text me/send me messages or ill die

headcanon william shakespeare, the playwright. not his plays. the actual dude himself.

shakespeareandpunk:

i try to headcanon (modern au) Shakespeare The Dude Himself and mostly I just come up with really absurd things which, coincidentally, are probably 100% accurate and basically amount to:

  • Shakespeare listens to Kesha while he writes
  • Shakespeare goes online and argues with people who insist that Mercutio is straight
  • (i’ve said this before but like) at least 100 plays of this Pompeii 8tracks mix are his
  • Shakespeare would be that dude that no one actually even bothers inviting to their parties anymore because he always just shows up two hours late with a 6pack under his arm
  • Shakespeare mixes his patterns (striped trousers with a polka dot shirt with a paisley wrap) and wears the weirdest shoes and scarves you’ve ever seen
  • Shakespeare has a tumblr account just to reblog people’s text posts and add really infuriating puns and then refuses to apologize when it gets over 50k notes
  • via soemilymarlowe runs the ‘i’m sorry your text post got famous’ blog just to reblog shakespeare’s puns

girl scout badges and accomplishments

lambhoof:

qualifiedyetsluttynurse:

lambhoof:

-blood tithing
-bonecrafting
-demon hosting
-bearer of the dark crystal
-arson
-haruspex
-slime
-antagonizing extraterrestrials
-thaumaturgy
-aviation
-day out on the lake of fire
-grievous injury
-self surgery
-best warcry
-chainmail fashion
-week alone in the woods of eternal night
-malevolent fungus taiming/p>

Pleas dont lie on the internet like this

i was a girl scout for several centuries

i remember i flipped a shit when they tried to tell me i had adhd…..like i refused to accept it and would not pursue treatment for it and convinced myself everything wrong with my academic performance was due to my own shortcomings…….but like that really says something about my school environment and the education system in america in general, like i was sooooo terrified at the possibility of being what i perceived as neurally incompetent and inefficient even tho it’s not my fault because it meant there was no way i could be accommodated by my school without pumpin myself full of meds……..basically i didn’t want to think i had adhd bc i knew that was a death sentence. that’s so fucked up. im just now realizing how fucked up that is. my friend and i were talking and he’s a smart kid who does well in school but we both have this problem where we have trouble doing the reading for our ap psych class bc we can physically stare at the same sentence for 10 minutes and not absorb any of it. but we just have to learn to deal. and you know what else is fucked? i got told i was bright in elementary school, and ill bet you a million dollars he did too. i truly do love my school and am lucky to be there but it sure does not accommodate people like me like it says it does, so really fuck the education system tbh

it’s an “i just smacked my head on the corner of my dresser and started sobbing because i’m going to be an adult in three weeks” kind of night

unclefather:

hey theres a snake on your foot

unclefather:

hey theres a snake on your foot